"Dr. Cantrell, do you not believe that it's possible for a warrior to return from combat well adjusted?"
This was a good question one young warrior asked me in a recent workshop. Since I know he isn't the only one who is wondering the same thing, I thought I would briefly share some thoughts with you this time around.
Yes, of course I believe it is possible for a warrior to return from combat well-adjusted. However, there can be situations that arise that may challenge this hypothesis. I sincerely believe that we cannot over-generalize, and state that "all" are going to have the same type of adjustment issues. We are all individuals and respond to our experiences in various ways—and this is what makes life such a special adventure.
The struggles that some have may be offset (thankfully) by very strong social support systems such as family or one of the many faith communities we have in this country. The degree of resiliency that an individual possesses is also a major aspect of how good the return home will turn out. We know that no two people are alike and a person's experiences are influenced by many factors. These challenges bring about growth and a new perspective of reality, and I feel that every one of you have been changed by your experiences down range, and with this comes a variety of issues related to your readjustment. As a result most of you will now look at, and re-frame, life from a new set of lenses. What comes along with this is a great possibility that fitting again with your family, friends, and peers may become a struggle that is difficult to deal with. My strong advice here is to stay connected as best you can. There are some very good support groups (with other warriors) available, and many service organizations that specialize in bringing people together. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of staying connected and communicating.
Consequently, family members may also feel the sense of disconnect from your Marine. Please realize that this is a normal part of the coming home journey, and a great deal of patience and empathy on your part will be needed. There will be emotions from both sides that may arise, so it is vital that you all remain strong and develop the natural support system you already have in place. Together you will gather your strength to move through this time.
Stress symptoms are a normal part of the human experience or condition. I do not pathologize these issues, but do my best to re-frame the issues (or turn the view around so it can be seen from a more clear angle) so they can instill hope and normalcy in lives. Just keep in mind that even though life may be a little tough today, tomorrow the sun is going to rise and a new day will begin. Souls become wounded and these wounds can be deep, so allow time for the process to do its work. It is important to speak of your pain and share your stories with a trusted individual—that is why support groups are so powerful. We must rely upon these rituals to work through our challenges.
Until we meet again. Be positive and upbeat, these very important aspects of healing. As the old saying goes…seeing the glass half full is better than seeing it half empty, and remember that optimism is infectious, and will take you a long way in life. All that we experience enriches our lives; this allows us to build more empathy for those who may have more challenges along their path—and the real healing begins when you can help someone else through their rough times.
Best, Bridget
